Losing a Loved One

Losing a loved one! I wanted to write this note for so long, but I keep burying the emotions and I can't seem to get rid of them. They keep on breaking the surface whenever something or someone ignites the feelings and brings the memories back...it's hard to let go of the memory of those loved ones, whether they be relatives, friends or lovers. Actually, I don't believe that one really gets over the loss of somebody, it's just that one learns to accept the fact as time goes by, and realize that this loved person doesn't physically exist in his/her own life anymore; only in the memory...and that's when even the memory sometimes fails and it fades away!
In my relatively short life time, I've lost many loved ones, but only few of them are still vividly living in my life, and I think of them frequently. Others, I still love, but they don't really cross my mind except when their names are mentioned occasionally...It makes me think, do we remember people who influence us most, or people who we love most, or both? I come to think of those people I lost, grandpa, grandma, a cousin who was still a young man, a teacher, a couple of uncles..and I started comparing the feelings...the ones I still really miss and mourn are my grandpa, my teacher and most of all my cousin .... I literally can't get over the memory, it haunts me in my dreams a lot that I am starting to think that it will leave this scar mark in my heart forever...may be it is that sudden loss? or how much that person was close to my heart...I can't seem to decide..
But that's the nature of emotions, it's complicated, uneasy to define, a mixture of so many things on so many different levels that end up in something that is left unexplained to both our minds, and our souls, I give myself the liberty to call it a signature or an identity print that every one of us leaves on his/her fellow human being and it differs from one person to another, sometimes it's a print of love, hate, gratitude, admiration, respect or you name it...and finally when that loved one is gone, it's the thing that remains...and it's the feeling that we remember and the memory that we keep...However, there's that one thing that God has blessed us with; the a hope of meeting again, one day, we will no doubt get together in a better place where there is no sadness and no death...